People connect with other people all the time. In relationships, in friendships, in work groups, in peer groups, social circles, in sports, in clubs and societies, online...the are endless connections.

For any individual those connections will take three different forms.

1. Life connections. People you would drop everything for.

2. Social connections. People you would choose to be with.

3. Informal connections. People you know and connect with.

A community with strong connections at every level and few isolated individuals, will be more resilient to threats and change - the popular word to describe that sort of community is 'cohesive'.

Every small community in the UK used to be naturally cohesive. Small collections of houses usually with a church at the centre of the community both physically and socially.

Today things are very different with large settlements, towns and cities, many of which have grown by coalescing smaller communities. Now the centres are less distinct, the church no longer the hub it used to be. Added to that is the huge movement of people, constant over the past 200 years as rural people moved into centres of employment and in the last 60 years immigration bringing different cultures and races into what have become sub-communities in many places.

Each of our individual network of personal links is likely to include a huge variety of different people - different economically, different ethnically, different politically, different genders, different sexuality, different religions, different generations.

Personal links are the bonds of the community. The main sources of new links are:

As a child and growing up:
- Nursery / Playgroup
- School
- Street / neighbourhood
- College / 6th Form
- University / Further education
- sports teams
- social clubs like Scouts, Guides, Dancing etc.

As an adult:
- Work
- Social - pubs, clubs, festivals, libraries etc.
- Sports teams
- Social clubs - painting, gym classes, Womens Institute etc.
- Hobbies - allotments, crafts, modelling etc.
- School gate and through children's activities and parties

If you are isolation, you are disconnected from the community and it impacts on how you feel personally and how you feel about the place you live and the people around you.

The point at which you join a community is fundamental to how well connected you feel to it. And the extent to which the community you join is cohesive will also influence the extent to which you are welcomed. 

A child moving into a new school and joining an established class of children, will feel like an outsider. A family moving into an established street where everyone knows each other and no-one has moved house for years will integrate differently from a family moving into a new-build street where everyone is new.

In many cases, couples settle in a community and start to make some links prior to having their first child. When the child is born, there are often peers and friends with similar aged children and they will meet new parents at anti-natal classes, nursery and playgroups. In a tight community these initial parenting (and child friendships) will endure, many until the children reach adulthood - passing through infant, primary and secondary school. Through birthday parties, sleepovers, school gate meetings, parents evenings, concerts and sports, waiting for the coach to arrive from school trips, dropping off at prom, anxious waiting outside exam results days and presentation ceremonies. As a parent you will meet the same people at all of these chance encounters and many will settle into comfortable friend groups.

But when a new family move into the street where their children are established in a school outside the village - or where they are unable to get them into the same school as their neighbours for whatever reason - then they have little opportunity to connect with their peers and neighbours.